Relationship trends are changing by the day,
strange variations of relationships are
emerging and the world is ready to pitch its
tent on any idea which it feels an extra
ounce of comfort.
The norms regarding relationships and family
settings are changing, such that one may
not be able to define a simple nuclear family
in the nearest future.
File photo: Young man dating older lady
One of such major relationship change is the
age disparity between the parties involved.
In the usual African setting, most
relationships exist between an older man
and a younger woman, majorly to keep the
respect going and also due to the patriarchal
nature of the African setting.
However, things are not as it seems
anymore, as investigations show that many
intimate relationships instituted these days
have a different setting. It has almost
become norm these days to have youngmen
warm-up to older women; the trend is so
fast growing that one gets to wonder why.
The reasons are not far-fetched though,
below are five very cogent reasons why
young men of these days find comfort and
companionship in older women.
1. Domination (Less stressful)
For most of the young men of today, stress
is not a part of the bargain. So many of
them would tell you that they can’t keep up
with the continuous antics which younger
girls use to make themselves hard to get;
hence they turn their eyes elsewhere.
The older ladies tend to have little or no
time for all those games, says one Emeka
Amajoyi . According to him, if the older
woman likes you, she does not mind walking
up to you and woo you over.
Emeka notes that there is little or no
attention paid to how many text messages
the young man sends, or how many times he
visits; because if he won’t do it or don’t
have the means to, she (the older woman)
would not mind playing the role.
Now this is not to say that the older ladies
are cheap, but they are more aware of the
fact that the threshold for patience has
drastically diminished in this age; and if you
don’t grab while it is still hot, the next
minute it might be gone.
Experts however say that the less stress
card is actually a ploy for this men to hide
the fact that they so crave domination but
do not know how to subdue or tame the
younger ladies.
Being somewhat shy or not being able to
keep up with the exposure of the young girls,
the men give up and tend to pitch their tents
in places where they are more comfortable
with, places where they don’t feel
challenged.
And though inwardly they crave these young
girls, they try to comfort themselves by
saying older women are less stressful.
2. Intimidation (More economical)
Buttressing the point of less stress is the
less expensive and more economical
reason. For Ayodele Banji, younger girls are
always quite expensive; you would need to
buy them virtually everything. From call
credits to toiletries, most young girls will
demand even those that tend to have
something doing.
Banji says the problem is that the young
girls have the notion that the man must do
all the providing and the women are to just
sit back, relax and enjoy his hard earned
money. He claims that most of the girls lack
the concept of team work in which both
parties contribute to make things work.
Most of the men in this school of thought,
are those intimidated by young girls. They
crave to dominate, to be worshiped, but
might not have the means, nor the ability to
actualize their dream of supremacy. Hence
they continue to hide under the guise that
older women are more economical, even
though they would have loved to be able to
supply every need of their partners
3. Monetary benefits (Laziness)
For some young men, they are in the
relationship with older women for the
monetary benefit. Calistus Barunoh says the
older women pay the younger men most
times. For him it’s all about the financial
benefit, most of these older women spend a
lot for their young lovers, ensuring that their
needs are well tended to.
Calistus says, some women go ahead to rent
apartments for these young men, buy them
clothes and cars; sponsor them on trips
abroad; all without a flinch.
He says it is this financial benefit that gets
many young men glued on the older women,
in that all they want is supplied.
Examining this case, some experts have said
that men who enter relationships for
financial benefits are the lazy types, gold-
diggers. They are pranksters with varied
degree of wits, however most of their antics
do not tend to work on the younger girls who
are still hustling to make ends meet, so
these men would rather not bother
themselves with the lasses, when there are
already made women to milk.
4. Motherly attachments (Childishness)
Ambrose Darlington said for him, many
young men of this generation have a very
sentimental attachment to their mothers,
and crave to see what transpired in their
homes, play out in their own relationships.
They crave the motherly attention which
they are used to, but the young ladies have
never been mothers and thus cannot give
what they do not have. Hence, the young
men move to where they notice a replica of
what their mothers used to give them; only
this time with more strings attached.
He said the older women pamper these
youngmen like only mothers will do; they
treat them in such priceless ways which only
one’s mother will. Thus, the youngmen get
hooked, they want to enjoy the boyhood
feeling even while they are men. This factor
experts say have led to the crumbling of
many young marriages. The young man
begins to compare his youthful wife to his
aged mother and seeing no parallel lines, he
tends to get ticked-off.
The pampering and sentimental attachments
which the young men in question crave and
have towards older women, has been
attributed to childishness. Experts say they
are those who have refused to grow up,
hence it all adds up to why they are
intimidated and lazy, and also links to the
next point below.
5. No strings attached (Irresponsible)
Chibuzor Onyeka said, many people these
days want relationships in which there are
less strings attached. So some people want
to have babies but don’t necessarily need a
wife, same way some young men want
relationships that doesn’t necessarily tie
them down.
Many young ladies in Nigeria still have their
eyes fixed on marriage, an institution which
many young men shy away from. Chibuzor
notes that not only do the young ladies want
to get married, they want a very glamorous
wedding ceremony; ordinarily that would not
be a problem back in the days, but now,
“boys are not smiling”, Chibuzor stressed.
The older women on the other hand, might
have had their glorious wedding ceremonies
in the past and are way over the euphoria of
garments and creeds. They just want some
comfort, and companionship; in whichever
quantity they get it, they are satisfied.
Hence, the young men seize the opportunity;
it is less stressful, more economical, and
more beneficial and has no extra strings
attached. For them, relationships with older
women are well defined without definitions.
A certain weight of responsibility is lifted off
their shoulders, the relationship is very
flexible and they find in it a win-win
situation.
This reason gives credence to the fact that
the young men are childish, it is only a child
that cares less but wants more, its all about
him. The child has no responsibility per-say,
so he relies on those who supply him.
These are the five strange reasons why
young men date older women, let us know
what you think. Do you think the reasons are
cogent enough? Do you think there is more
than meets the eye in relationships of this
kind?
strange variations of relationships are
emerging and the world is ready to pitch its
tent on any idea which it feels an extra
ounce of comfort.
The norms regarding relationships and family
settings are changing, such that one may
not be able to define a simple nuclear family
in the nearest future.
File photo: Young man dating older lady
One of such major relationship change is the
age disparity between the parties involved.
In the usual African setting, most
relationships exist between an older man
and a younger woman, majorly to keep the
respect going and also due to the patriarchal
nature of the African setting.
However, things are not as it seems
anymore, as investigations show that many
intimate relationships instituted these days
have a different setting. It has almost
become norm these days to have youngmen
warm-up to older women; the trend is so
fast growing that one gets to wonder why.
The reasons are not far-fetched though,
below are five very cogent reasons why
young men of these days find comfort and
companionship in older women.
1. Domination (Less stressful)
For most of the young men of today, stress
is not a part of the bargain. So many of
them would tell you that they can’t keep up
with the continuous antics which younger
girls use to make themselves hard to get;
hence they turn their eyes elsewhere.
The older ladies tend to have little or no
time for all those games, says one Emeka
Amajoyi . According to him, if the older
woman likes you, she does not mind walking
up to you and woo you over.
Emeka notes that there is little or no
attention paid to how many text messages
the young man sends, or how many times he
visits; because if he won’t do it or don’t
have the means to, she (the older woman)
would not mind playing the role.
Now this is not to say that the older ladies
are cheap, but they are more aware of the
fact that the threshold for patience has
drastically diminished in this age; and if you
don’t grab while it is still hot, the next
minute it might be gone.
Experts however say that the less stress
card is actually a ploy for this men to hide
the fact that they so crave domination but
do not know how to subdue or tame the
younger ladies.
Being somewhat shy or not being able to
keep up with the exposure of the young girls,
the men give up and tend to pitch their tents
in places where they are more comfortable
with, places where they don’t feel
challenged.
And though inwardly they crave these young
girls, they try to comfort themselves by
saying older women are less stressful.
2. Intimidation (More economical)
Buttressing the point of less stress is the
less expensive and more economical
reason. For Ayodele Banji, younger girls are
always quite expensive; you would need to
buy them virtually everything. From call
credits to toiletries, most young girls will
demand even those that tend to have
something doing.
Banji says the problem is that the young
girls have the notion that the man must do
all the providing and the women are to just
sit back, relax and enjoy his hard earned
money. He claims that most of the girls lack
the concept of team work in which both
parties contribute to make things work.
Most of the men in this school of thought,
are those intimidated by young girls. They
crave to dominate, to be worshiped, but
might not have the means, nor the ability to
actualize their dream of supremacy. Hence
they continue to hide under the guise that
older women are more economical, even
though they would have loved to be able to
supply every need of their partners
3. Monetary benefits (Laziness)
For some young men, they are in the
relationship with older women for the
monetary benefit. Calistus Barunoh says the
older women pay the younger men most
times. For him it’s all about the financial
benefit, most of these older women spend a
lot for their young lovers, ensuring that their
needs are well tended to.
Calistus says, some women go ahead to rent
apartments for these young men, buy them
clothes and cars; sponsor them on trips
abroad; all without a flinch.
He says it is this financial benefit that gets
many young men glued on the older women,
in that all they want is supplied.
Examining this case, some experts have said
that men who enter relationships for
financial benefits are the lazy types, gold-
diggers. They are pranksters with varied
degree of wits, however most of their antics
do not tend to work on the younger girls who
are still hustling to make ends meet, so
these men would rather not bother
themselves with the lasses, when there are
already made women to milk.
4. Motherly attachments (Childishness)
Ambrose Darlington said for him, many
young men of this generation have a very
sentimental attachment to their mothers,
and crave to see what transpired in their
homes, play out in their own relationships.
They crave the motherly attention which
they are used to, but the young ladies have
never been mothers and thus cannot give
what they do not have. Hence, the young
men move to where they notice a replica of
what their mothers used to give them; only
this time with more strings attached.
He said the older women pamper these
youngmen like only mothers will do; they
treat them in such priceless ways which only
one’s mother will. Thus, the youngmen get
hooked, they want to enjoy the boyhood
feeling even while they are men. This factor
experts say have led to the crumbling of
many young marriages. The young man
begins to compare his youthful wife to his
aged mother and seeing no parallel lines, he
tends to get ticked-off.
The pampering and sentimental attachments
which the young men in question crave and
have towards older women, has been
attributed to childishness. Experts say they
are those who have refused to grow up,
hence it all adds up to why they are
intimidated and lazy, and also links to the
next point below.
5. No strings attached (Irresponsible)
Chibuzor Onyeka said, many people these
days want relationships in which there are
less strings attached. So some people want
to have babies but don’t necessarily need a
wife, same way some young men want
relationships that doesn’t necessarily tie
them down.
Many young ladies in Nigeria still have their
eyes fixed on marriage, an institution which
many young men shy away from. Chibuzor
notes that not only do the young ladies want
to get married, they want a very glamorous
wedding ceremony; ordinarily that would not
be a problem back in the days, but now,
“boys are not smiling”, Chibuzor stressed.
The older women on the other hand, might
have had their glorious wedding ceremonies
in the past and are way over the euphoria of
garments and creeds. They just want some
comfort, and companionship; in whichever
quantity they get it, they are satisfied.
Hence, the young men seize the opportunity;
it is less stressful, more economical, and
more beneficial and has no extra strings
attached. For them, relationships with older
women are well defined without definitions.
A certain weight of responsibility is lifted off
their shoulders, the relationship is very
flexible and they find in it a win-win
situation.
This reason gives credence to the fact that
the young men are childish, it is only a child
that cares less but wants more, its all about
him. The child has no responsibility per-say,
so he relies on those who supply him.
These are the five strange reasons why
young men date older women, let us know
what you think. Do you think the reasons are
cogent enough? Do you think there is more
than meets the eye in relationships of this
kind?
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